It wasn't the last time....

I'm sorry that it's been six weeks since our previous post and we have lots to catch up on. As we last left off....at the end of June 1977, Ellyn was at home recovering from the car accident and romance was starting to blossom. Geoff was so great during Ellyn's recovery - coming over each day, making sure that Ellyn had lunch for the next day, watering the vegies, and generally cheering her up. Of course, Geoff's caring touch was much appreciated - and even though neither of us realized it at the time, it was a trait of Geoff's that's gotten more use than we could have ever expected.

In fact, as we write this, here we are, again, in 2007 with Geoff cheering on Ellyn as she recovers from yet another surgery. So, just how many injuries/surgeries has Ellyn had through the years with Geoff at her side helping her recover? Here goes.....
1) July 1977 - Car accident knee injury with multiple stitches
2) Mar 1977 - Open knee "lateral release" surgery to repair cartilage damaged by the car accident.
3) Dec 1979 - Best reason ever to have surgery - C-section resulting in Logan
4) May 1982- Best reason ever to have surgery - C-section resulting in Brian
5) Feb 1979 - Laproscopic Gall Bladder removal. Next day hemorrhaging required a surgery to repair leaks and blood transfusion.
6) Jan 2006 - Perforated colon removed with temporary colostomy. This time, Geoff slept in the hospital with me for nearly all the 16 nights I was hospitalized. Once home, Geoff also took care of the colostomy until I was strong enough to start doing it a few weeks later.
7) Mar 2006 - Outpatient Knee Meniscus tear removal
8) July 2006 - Reversal of Colostomy (yay!) - 2nd best reason to have surgery :-)
8) July 2007 - Surgery to repair 3 incisional hernias.
And there you have it....Geoff's caring ways while Ellyn was healing from the car accident was one thing that drew her to love him in the summer of 1977 and throughout the 30 years since then.

It starts to blossom....

After my accident, I was laid up at home for a week or two with lots of stitches in my swollen knee. Up to this point, Geoff and I were colleagues who did things together and he came over to my house everyday to make sure I had food, to water my vegetable garden, and to be good company for me. As the days went by, I started to fall for him and began to realize how much I looked forward to our time together each evening. And his kindness to me was a sign he was also falling for me.

Would we have come to this same result if the accident hadn't occurred (like the movie "Sliding Doors)? We'll never know but the reality is that by time I went back to work (with Geoff driving me while my knee was still healing), we weren't "just colleagues" any longer.

The Fork in the Road

I got a call at work on that July day from Ellyn and she said she had been in an accident with her car. My first thought was that she loved that little car and now it had some big dent in it. I also thought she was calling me from at work, although I had not seen her yet that day. It must have been before lunch since she and I usually ate with a bunch of people from both departments, several of which were transferees from Rochester.

Slowly it came to light that it was more than just a fender bender; that she was not at work, but at home with a badly damaged knee, and that her car was not merely damaged but burned beyond recognition. I actually got to see it later. She found out where it had been taken to and I was curious. At the time I had considered taking photos but I thought they would upset Ellyn too much, so I did not. Now, it would be interesting to be able to look back at them.

As Ellyn mentioned in her post, and I had forgotten, Laura was staying with her that week, so I really did not have to get involved. I am not sure why I did, although we had become friends, and I guess I felt I was able to help out, so I would, as much as she wanted me to. And I did feel bad about her poor car. So it was the beginning, that fork in the road, and I took it.

Fiery Smashup Changes Course of Our Lives

Thirty years ago, today, I was driving to work in my 6wk old red Honda Civic. It was about 6:30am. The sun was just coming over the hills as the southbound I-280 freeway took a turn toward the east less than two miles from my house. The sun was just coming over the eastern hill and, In the next instant, the sun flashed in my eyes.

Boom! Impact.

I realize that the front of my car has crashed into the rear of a car and that both our cars are on fire. I jump out of my car without even considering that I could be stepping into traffic. I go to the elderly couple from other car and ask if they are okay. The man says "The sun was in my eyes. I couldn't see anything so I stopped." As soon as I realize they are okay, I move away from them. By this time, others have gathered to help and they point out that the right knee of my slacks are bloody and tell me to lie down. One is an EMT on his way to work. He pulls up my pant leg and when the injury is revealed, the other bystanders gasp. I never did look at it, myself.

Now the two cars are totally engulfed in flames and people keep asking me over and over whether anybody else was in the car with me. They ask me so many times that I start to worry that I've forgotten somebody in there. Then the trooper asks me what happened and I tell him that I was in the 2nd lane from the right and next thing I know I'm in the back of a car. Then he goes to talk to the other couple and then he returns to me and he says "We have a problem - they say that they were in the right hand lane and you say the 2nd lane." If it was 2007, I probably would have responded "Whatever." but instead I said "well, I guess I was wrong".

The woman in the other car and I were transported to the hospital a couple miles away. At the hospital, x-rays were taken - no CAT scans or MRI's back then. No breaks. My knee was washed and stitched. For those who don't recall the scar on my knee, it's "Y" shaped with each branch about 2-3 inches long and is still quite visible. I also had a small puncture cut on the top of the knee.

Summary of the injuries - my knee hit the dashboard and the puncture wound probably was caused by a key on my key ring. In the next hours/days, a vivid bruise made it clear that the abdominal pain was a severe bruise from the seatbelt. I also had a scrape on my shoulder from the shoulder harness. It's was pretty obvious that more serious or maybe even fatal injuries were prevented by my seatbelt - aided by the Honda's transverse engine which was fairly unique at that time.

So I get stitched up. I call my sister, Laura, who was staying at my house that week, so she can come pick me up and then I'm laid up at home for the next week or so. My theory on how the accident happened and also how this event changed our lives will be coming up in future entries. A link to the newspaper article about the accident is on the left.

...in a movie theater far, far away...

In the spring of 1977 I started seeing ads for a new movie that was coming out soon called "Star Wars". I was and still am a big fan of all kinds of Sci-Fi films (2001, Forbidden Planet, Silent Running are among some of my favorites) and this looked like a real knockout, from what the ad showed me. When I got settled in CA, I decided it was finally time to see just how good it was. I do not think it was showing in very many places at the time but the Century 22 theaters in San Jose had it, so I checked it out.

Needless to say, it was a big hit with me. I think I may have seen it at least one more time before I invited Ellyn to go see it. I knew she was at least a little interested in the genre, so I thought it would be a safe bet she would go for it. Did she ever.

From Ellyn: I recall being only a little disappointed that Geoff went to see SW without me but, remember, that at this time that Geoff and I were just work pals who did a couple things a week outside of work so it didn't bother me much. However, I did think it was pretty intriguing that he went to movies alone - I had never known anybody else who did that. He still does that when there is a movie he really wants to see that I don't want to see.

So we learned that summer that we both really enjoyed Star Wars and we both loved seeing it again and again. And each of the 6 or so times we saw it that year, there were always long waits in lines that stretched all across the parking lot. It was a phenomena that may never be repeated. And all these years later - after the re-releases and the sequels and the fun of sharing the Saga with our sons, I still get a thrill when the music starts and the wording begins to recede to the distance....."In a galaxy far, far away..."

In that movie theater now far, far away, I don't know which we would have less expected - the longevity of Star Wars or the longevity of our relationship??

See the links in the left column for reviews and articles about this innovative new movie. The one about Star Wars almost not being made is really worth a read.

Memory refreshing. Please wait....

So Ellyn and I were doing some recollecting yesterday and she said she remembered me taking her to a race track close to where I lived in San Jose. I could not, for the life of me, remember going to a race track in San Jose, with or without her. She Googled "San Jose Speedway" and came up with a reference to a track at the Santa Clara County Fairgrounds, which was just a short distance from my apartment. However, she did not remember going to the fairgrounds to see the races.

More searching turned up a reference to San Jose Speedway being near the Reid-Hillview Airport, which was also close to my apartment. Another reference mentioned it moved to the fairgrounds in 1978 from the "Quimby-Tully" location, an intersection near the airport. The picture on this website made Ellyn think it was the place where we went.

One of our dates I do remember was the time we went to visit Ellyn's friend Joel and his first wife, Toby, at their house in Morgan Hill, south of San Jose, and I talked her into riding there on my motorcycle. This was after I had sold my Honda 350 and bought a new 550 (ah the power of a real paycheck). I also got her her own blue helmet. It was the only time she ever used it.

I also remember they had a very steep driveway and I would not go up or down it with her on the bike. I think that was ok with her.

Fourth of July Weekend 1977

On the right is a photo of my first car - a Dodge Swinger in front of my little San Jose house. I had gotten it used from my parents when I graduated from college four years before I met Geoff. It was a very practical car (and not too different than the Accord that I now drive).

However, in the spring of 1977, I decided that that blue Dart wasn't quite "me" so I bought a little red 1977 Honda Civic for a whopping $4000 (which at time was probably 1/4 of my annual salary). Below is a photo (from later in '77) of Geoff washing a little Honda (though not the one I had bought in 6/77). I really enjoyed zipping around in my new little Honda so my recollection is that one of the days of 1977's Fourth of July weekend, Geoff and I took a road trip in the little Honda to visit my friend, Lorna, at her parent's home in San Mateo. I'm fairly certain that we took the scenic Skyline Blvd but don't recall what we did at Lorna's or who else was there. Zipping around in my little Honda to various places was the next step of Geoff's and my growing friendship and that first little Honda was destined to play a larger role in our relationship. More on that in future posts.

Our first evening - June 24, 1976 - PART THREE

Okay - I guess I have to be honest, too, that I don't remember all the details of the evening. But here's what I do remember.

When we got to my friends' home, Geoff opened my cardoor for me and he got whatever I was bringing to their house out of the trunk and carried it in for me. This chivalry definately made an impression upon me and, in fact, although Geoff''s not opening my door for me these days, he still does carry in most of the stuff we bring home.

I don't remember any more details than Geoff does about our evening at Liz's and Steve's home but I do remember that, after we left, Geoff and I went to get a light bite and something to drink at a nearby place that had sandwiches, salads, beer and wine. I remember that I was suprised to learn how much we DID have in common - our love of movies and science fiction and we both talked about buzz (though we didn't call it that, back then) regarding the recently released "Star Wars" movie. So by the end of the evening, I had decided that even though we had been on such different paths a few years earlier, that it would be nice to spend more time with him.

By the way, there is an interesting California Free Speech history to the Shopping Center where Geoff and I went for our snack that night. Here's a link to that history. Pruneyard Story Link
The restaurant where we went that night is now gone - after all, it has been 30 years.

Our first evening - June 24th - PART TWO

I do not recall a large part of that evening, and it wasn't the drugs, or the alcohol, or being swept up in Ellyn's allure; nope it is just a vast expanse of time. Besides, at the time, I did not think it would particularly be an evening to remember, so I forgot to take notes. I do remember spending some time at the friends' home and sitting out by their pool chatting, all of them probably curious about this stranger that Ellyn had plunked down in their midst.

I will assume I was my usual witty self and hardly put together more than a few words all evening. Ellyn has already mentioned her dismay at find out I was a seasoned war veteran, although I do not believe escaping safely into the submarine Navy at a time when I could have been easily drafted into the infantry of Viet Nam was any kind of battle-tested badge of courage. I guess when the full facts came to light, she had pity for me rather than flaming hatred.

Our first evening - June 24th - PART ONE

As we mentioned in the last post, my little house was clean. Geoff and I had made plans for Geoff to pick me up to join a get-together at my friends' home. By the way, I was pretty proud that, as a 25 year old single woman that I owned my own home. It was a typical San Jose bungalo with about 1000 square feet, 3 little bedrooms, a fairly large kitchen, and a big two car garage. My father had loaned me the down payment to purchase the $36,000 home.

So, that evening, Geoff came to pick me up at my house. I recall him coming in and in those first few minutes together, I learned that Geoff had been in the Navy in the years from 1967 to 1973. Up until this time of my life, the peers in my life were almost 100% anti-war liberals. And during the years 1969-1973 when I had been at the University of Washington, I could easily be described as a "antiwar hippy". Here's some articles from that time period at UW: http://www.historylink.org/essays/output.cfm?file_id=2308/>

Learning that Geoff had been in the Navy while I was protesting the war gave me the first impression that we didn't have anything in common.

I had wanted to post a photo of me from my war-protesting college "hippy" years but, so far, I can't find the photo album so instead I found this photo from the web to give you the idea.

Thirty Years Ago Today

First let's get this out of the way - we aren't so cutsie as to have spent the last 30 years celebrating the anniversaries of the day we met. However, because this is the 30th anniversary, we did some calculating based upon when Geoff was hired and when he arrived in San Jose and we came up with June 24th, 1977. We'll be taking turns telling about the day.

ELLYN: Geoff already mentioned that we met at the Secretary's desk. Sue had been my department's secretary and Sue and I were friendly. While I was over in her area that day, I dropped by her desk to say "hi!" While I was there a young man I hadn't seen before came up to her desk to ask for a moving expense form. I asked where he had moved from and heard the story he's told above about him being send from MN to SJ for the year. Then I went back to my desk.

GEOFF: This was a long time ago, so I may not remember it exactly, but I went back to working on my expense forms and do not think I gave Ellyn another thought. Later in the day, I was in the room where our big, flatbed tester was. Ellyn came to the door of the lab. She asked what I was doing that night. I scrambled for something. "Uh, nothing". Oops. "Uh, I just got all my boxes from the movers and I have to set up my stereo in my apartment." I was missing my tunes. Maybe I should have gone with "I have to wash my hair". She said she was going to meet with some friends at their house that night and wondered if I wanted to come along. Somehow, I agreed to this rather forward approach from a young woman I had just met. Could be fun, even for a social misfit like myself. "Ok, but I gotta have time to get my stereo working first."

ELLYN: On that momentous Friday, I had plans to go over to my friends, Steve's and Liz's new home, to hang out for a while that evening. After I had met Geoff, I was thinking (very presumptiously since I didn't know anything about him) that he must be lonely since he was new in town and decided to invite him to go with me. Two important points: ONE: I thought of this only as an invite to a colleague who was new in town. I had absolutely no other motives. TWO: The fact that my house was cleaned up that day made me more comfortable in asking Geoff to join us. Who knows, if my house hadn't been clean that day, our paths wouldn't have crossed in the way they did. At any rate, Geoff accepted my offer and we made plans for him to pick me up at my little house later that evening.

We'll add the evening's story in the next posting...

Anti-trust and emission limits as Cupid

There's two reasons that IBM was cloning San Jose's HDD technology in Rochester, MN:

1) IBM had real fears that the results of the long Federal IBM anti-trust investigation would result in splitting up IBM so the disk drive capability needed to be in Roch's mid-size systems division.

2) California was starting to crack down on factory emissions and IBM San Jose's emissions from the disk drive manufacturing was nearing the emissions limit. So an additional disk drive location was required to increase capacity.

Of course, thirty years ago today, Geoff and I were totally unaware that anti-trust and environmental laws would play cupid in our lives in the coming weeks.

Here's a good article about the 13 year antitrust suit in the context of Microsoft and AT&T.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/business/longterm/microsoft/stories/microtale19.htm

30 years of HDD development

The reason I and the other Rochester employees were sent to San Jose was to "steal" technology on building hard disk drives and to bring it back to Rochester. This was the time of the antitrust suit against IBM and there was a danger that the company would be split. Rochester, who built the AS/400, did not want to have to buy their disk drives from an outside source.

The product I worked on was one similar to this picture, but only capable of holding about 200M bytes of data. 30 years later, a drive holding 1000 times as much data can be held in the palm of your hand.

Ellyn must not have thought "Is that a hard drive in your pocket or are you just glad to meet me?" when we were first introduced by the secretary in our area. There is another archaic concept, the common secretary. They are now administrative assistants and only work for top management.

The next man....

Thirty years ago, I was a 25 year old single woman who owned my own home and had just bought my first brand new car (here's a good description and photos on another blog http://mjgradziel.com/honda.html). I had already worked for IBM for nearly 4 years at this point and had just returned from a six week trip to Israel and Europe where I traveled alone with stays with friends in Jerusalem, London, the Netherlands and Antwerp.

In telling our story through the years I have often joked that when I got home from my trip, that I had vowed to marry the next man I met but it wasn't quite that simple.

Wow, 30 years.

So I just passed the 30 year anniversary yesterday of my first day at IBM. It was in Rochester, MN, and I was immediately told to head for CA. I had rented an apartment already and had not realized I would be leaving so soon. I had been told about the temp assignment but did not know it would come so quickly. I was able to get out of the rental though and packed my stuff to go. I guess they gave me a week to get out there, because I drove in my 1973 Mercury Capri pulling my Honda 350 on the trailer my Father built for me. I had shipped my big items, like my stereo equipment.

I took a northern route through North Dakota and drove through Glacier National Park on the northern border of Montana, then down through Oregon. I remember driving along the northern border of Oregon and being able to see Mt. Hood on one side and Mt. St. Helens (pre-eruption) on the other.

Little did I know then what California had in store for my future.

Our paths are about to cross....

Thirty years ago, today, Geoff began working at IBM in Rochester, MN and he learned that he would be sent immediately out to San Jose for a one year assignment.

Meanwhile, Ellyn had been working for IBM for nearly four years in San Jose.

The plot thickens.....

It started in June 1977

In a few weeks, it will be the 30 years since our chance meeting at IBM. And now it's been 4 homes, 2 sons, 5 additional Star Wars episodes, and countless stories to tell.

We'll be adding to this blog throughout the weeks leading up to our April 16, 2008 30th Anniversary so we can share some of our stories with our family and friends. We'll try to keep them short and maybe even a little interesting.